Failed Indian Food Becomes Hamster Fare

Tonight I tried to make Indian food: Palak Paneer and Chana Masala.  My first mistake was relying on a packaged paneer; my second was trying to use soy protein balls instead of chickpeas in the Chana Masala. The soy protein balls were a total failure, comparatively much worse than the flavorless, uninspiring paneer. In fact, the balls were totally non-edible, low-carb or not. Perhaps, you'll argue, I could have anticipated this- that soy protein balls are an unsuitable substitute for garbanzo beans, and, also, they are yucky. But! I'd retort, I'm such a fan of texturized vegetable protein I'd come to believe none of its long-distance meat substitute relatives could disappoint me.

I was devastated to learn that soy protein balls (at least, those obtained at the same Granville market food-stand that is the source of my wondrous TVP) taste like chewy dry Kibbles and Bits and look like any no-name wet dog food when swimming in curry sauce.  Worse, the soy protein balls stank.  I'm desperate to explain it.  My first instinct is to say they smelled like bread, but then you might think they smelled unbelievably good. But they did smell like bread, just like wet dog bread, bread after it gets mixed into dog food and is already in the dog's mouth, not yet, but just about to be, spit out and replaced by curses to a witless owner.

Not having a dog, I had no choice but to feed them to my hamsters.